Boundaries.

Another gorgeous and happy day. I hung my paintings, which look so stunning I cried (just a little bit, though!) I also bought a fern. My living room actually feels like a parlor, but not so stuffy.

I'm usually not one for decorating, which is why I've been here for nearly a year without attempting any kind of furniture rearranging, much less hanging pictures. I have always wanted (or at least I've said I've always wanted) my dwelling to be a safe place - a refuge - for others as well as myself. Without compromising my health and my sanity, I will give as much as I can to those in need of physical, emotional, or spiritual support. It just takes some natural intuition, lots of love, a good dose of Holy Spirit, and life experiences - and suddenly you'll find you often know a good thing to say or do.

I have been learning boundaries lately. Boundaries at work, in ministry, with neighbors, with good friends. When to say "no" and when to stay quiet. I guess I've messed up so much I'm learning what I need to do to protect my sanity, because regardless of what my overzealous conscience thinks, it's not my job to save the world.

For me, that's another kind of surrender. I can give God my life, but I want to take care of everyone else. It's just another thing I want to control, to fix - other people's problems. There are times when I have the opportunity to do that - to make someone a meal, to have a good talk, to let someone spend the night. And there are times when it is best to stop being involved. You know what they say - "You can't help everybody." Here's my response: "I'll help whomever I can. God will help everybody, be it through me or through his Holy Spirit, or through another human like me." It's putting them and their problems in God's hands.

This is not to say that when I see a need, I just ask God to take care of it and keep walking. I have to realize what I'm committing to before I take on a responsibility and make sure I'm up for that. It is so easy to burn out doing ministry, to become disillusioned and tired. And then you become a burden yourself. So you absolutely have to take really good care of yourself. And sometimes that means saying "no" or directing a person to someone else.

Side random thought: Whenever I can't think of what to do in a situation, I consider what my response would be to a friend presenting to me the same problem. Then I do whatever I would tell my friend to do. It works! Have you ever done this? It's always easier to give advice than to remember to follow it.